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Catholic power

Joke day: Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was making her rounds in her local town. She was visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas.

How many commandments?

John and Jane were not a very religious couple but tried their best; they only went to church once a year. As they were leaving the church, the minister said, “John, it sure would be nice to see you and Jane here more than once a year” “I know,” replied John, “But, we’re very busy people, leading active lives but at least we keep the Ten Commandments”.

Run NOW!

One Sunday morning during service, a thousand member congregation was surprised to see two men enter, both covered from head to toe in black and carrying what looked like sub-machine guns. One of the men proclaimed, “Anyone willing to take a bullet for Christ remain where you are, otherwise now is your chance to leave, run…RUN NOW!” Immediately, most of the choir fled, most deacons ran out, and most all of the congregation immediately left the building.

Three doctors go to Heaven

Three doctors are returning from a conference when a truck crosses
the median and hits their limo. All of a sudden they are face to face with
St. Peter.

Be careful:

The Bible is FULL of true stories, but you better be careful which ones you use to justify your actions:

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car.

No Excuses

To make it possible for everyone to attend church this Sunday, we are going to have a special “No Excuse Sunday”:

Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, “Sunday is my only day to sleep in.” …

The Computer is Down…

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, “I’d like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You’ll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can’t go back as priests.

The poor preacher

After the church service, seven year old Brian said to the preacher: ‘When I grow up, I’m going to give you some money.’

‘Well, thank you, ‘the preacher replied, ‘but why?’

‘Because my daddy says that you’re one of the poorest preachers we’ve ever had.’

What’s in your old family Bible?

A little boy opened their big family Bible.
He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly something fell out of the Bible.
He picked up the object and looked at it closely.
What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages….

Denouncing the devil

A priest was speaking with a man on his deathbed.
The priest told the man: “Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil.”
The dying man said nothing.
The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing.
The priest asked, “Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?”
The dying [...]